dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
