so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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