I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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