In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
