i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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