Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
MIDGETS
????
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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