I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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