i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
