she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
