her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
