Non-Jews are for practice
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
