after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
