Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We left the knife in your bed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
