Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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