I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think i got beer on your cat.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
