I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do vagina's smell?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
