Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
