everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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