U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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