do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
