we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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