So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
