it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
