Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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