I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
