jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
