The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dicks are not precious.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
