I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
