I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
