why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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