Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
smell my finger.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
be right there i have to get my cape
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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