ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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