all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
