Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
