Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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