suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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