He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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