you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
