He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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