I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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