my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
