3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
