I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
