whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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