Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
