You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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