He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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