Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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