the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
