So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
