Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
