they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
