I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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